oh boy

I suppose I have now joined another blogging site, I guess keeping up with my tumblr as well as all the other social networking sites wasn't enough for me. Truth is though, I want something a bit more private, this might just be able to appease me.
Lets begin with something fun, for the majority of my high school years I always claimed to be straight edge. It was one of the best decisions I ever made, I walked around Central High School with my head up high, being proud of that while everyone else was out there destroying their bodies I was focused on enjoying life sober, I didn't give a shit about all my friends going out to parties and fucking bitches, and getting drunk and fucked up in every kind of drug, I was just doing my own thing and for the most part it worked.Well, it did up until I realized that being straight edge had become nothing other than just the "cool" thing, seemed like everyone had forgotten what it was all about, and instead made it about wearing edge shirts with some basketball shorts to the hardcore show, where you could fucking throw down and maybe one of the cute but skanky scene girls there might want to suck your dick later on. so one day I just said to myself "fuck this" and went and had a beer with my friend tony. the next day, a very cute friend of mine, assuming because I had just informed her of my renouncing of my straight edge ways, decided it would be okay to fuck me. The sex was very meh for the both of us, but that wasn't the point, it just showed how much freedom I wasn't taking part in. After that it was more like I wanted to experience shit I had not before, I got drunk, I discovered my liking for cigarettes, fucked whores, and had very disappointing encounters with drugs.

Nowadays though, I think to myself that I really don't want to do none of this shit. Sometimes I say "I want to be straight edge" again, but then I figure that's way too fake for me to stomach. so I will be just regular, but my heart will forever be marked with an X.(lame enough closing sentence?)