Tuesday, December 1, 2009

5 things that life overhyped.

this is an entry I did on tumblr, and since I feel the need to get this blog going, I have decided to copy and paste it to here. I plan on doing all exclusives on here from now on though, but for now, read this:


I am a pessimist. This has been stated many times before, and if you know me, you know that my glass is half empty most of the time. I remember one time, my senior year English teacher met a friend of mine, and she told her "he's a lovely young man. He's very cynical though." from then on, I learned to embrace how much of a hater I really am. here is part of a much bigger list of things that all my life were made to be amazing, and then when I finally got to experience them, I was kind of let down.

1. the Ocean: you always hear people saying "OMG I went on vacation to _____, the ocean was so amazingly beautiful". I seen it at a very young age and as far as I can tell, I wasn't very impressed. In fact, I kind of got bummed out. It was one of those things where it was overwhelming to even dwell on the fact that this thing stretched as far as the eye can see. then you fucking venture yourself out into it and you realize that the water is salty, and that shit gets all up into your eyes, and your day is basically ruined right there. In case you werent aware, things live in the ocean, things that can very well bite you, sting you, or just pretty much kill you. I must have been about 8 the last time I saw the ocean, and I will say to this day, fuck the ocean.

2. High School: Don't get me wrong, high school was pretty nice, I enjoyed my time there and all, met some great people, did some fun shit, learned about life, etc. I'm talking about how years leading up to it, television made it seem so much more vicious than it actually was. the football team did not bury my head on a toilet, I never really got picked on, doing a cheerleader was an achievable goal, no one gave a shit about who won prom king, i managed to play pokemon everyday and carry a calculator in my pocket without ever getting called a nerd, etc etc etc(I won't dwell on this anymore).

3. Driving: it obviously has it's perks, and it's the 100% sure way to get laid no matter how little game you actually have. but no one told me i had to pay attention to so much shit going on around me, seriously, I have like the worst attention span, and now that I actually know how to drive and am able to do it, I feel it's so boring that sometimes I start daydreaming, and completely forget that I am taking part in a potentially deadly activity if I don't pay attention. Also, no one told me I would have to drive my drunk dad to wal-mart, ever.

4. sex: yeah, I said it. Every single thing possible in life hypes you up for the wonders of sex. I blame many things, including porn, yo niggas,and television are just some of them.there are many ways I could explain this, but we can all remember how slightly bummed out we were when our expectations were not met that first time, it was most likely awkward, messy, and the concept of sticking a penis into a vagina was easier said than done. and even after the initial couple of trial and error times, when you feel like you know what you're doing, no one told me it only got harder from there. then you actually have to worry about your performance(it really is such a competition) and put in ACTUAL work, I'm sorry to say this, but working out like I'm preparing for the Olympics for 45 minutes only to MAYBE have an orgasm that will last 10 seconds tops just does not seem worth it to me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have experienced some pretty hot stuff with some nice girls(who some follow this blog, just my luck -.-),but after a while I realized that there are way more important things in life than that.and don't even get me started on the letdown that was anal sex(that should be part of a future list I will call "things that porn overhyped").

5. Live music: I've gone to my fair share of shows, concerts, whatever else the kids call it these days, and every single time I find myself at one of these, pressed against some sweaty stranger, I think to myself "why am I here?". then I break things down like this, okay, so I just payed X amount of money to stand inside a warm ass room(or outside in the sun) and see a band or artist play songs that i can listen to in the comfort of my own home, in much better quality,and with less annoyance, just so you can be like "yeah, I seen them live" and be cool. then I just feel silly and bow to take a break from these things, but it never happens and I always find myself back at one in no time. WHICH REMINDS ME: HORSE the band this weekend.excitement. <======yeah, hypocrite/10.

I have way more things I would want to add, but I don't want to drag this on any longer, specially since people don't like to read anymore.

No comments:

Post a Comment