Thursday, December 3, 2009
"Even if a hipster ghosts on you, you’ll probably be forever haunted."
so the other day, I was talking to this girl I used to be "involved" with for a while. I'm not sure how the conversation got there but we started discussing our "relationship" or whatever, and we both realized that we never really got to know each other all that well, sure, I knew pretty much everything about her thoughts, and just her overall mind stuff, but as she pointed out, I never really got to know the way she acted, you know, physical quirks that we all have. I blame this on the fact that although we had something very emotional happening, she never wanted to hang out, why? she always explained to me by saying that she doesn't like feeling awkward in person, which I GUESS makes sense, except that it was total bullshit. She later told me that it was because she never forgave me for what I did, now, I knew I had done something wrong, and I apologized millions of times for what I did, the only problem that to this day I have is that I still have the big question that is, WHAT EXACTLY DID I DO? I understand that a big part of being sorry is knowing that you did wrong, but in this case, I never cared to ask because I knew I would just get some vague answer as if I was supposed to magically know. Was it because I broke up with her? Because I might or might not have been an asshole to her numerous times(who am I kidding, I was)? could be many things, yet I will never find out, it'd be nice to finally know, but as she told me in the same conversation "I look at that time with indifference now, it could have been better I know, but I'm just gonna put you in the list of things I know I messed up"--it's a good way to look at it, but she has always been one to not give a fuck about anything(that much I knew very well about her). I however am not the same way, so instead I am discussing this here on the internet haha. We have both found new opportunities since then and I hope she is very happy with whatever sh...wait no way am I taking the mature approach to this, I hope whatever you have going on fails, it would life's fair trade for wasting my fucking time for so long...and you didn't even put out, bitch. <===see, I am an asshole. and on that note, this is the end.